dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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