I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
