i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Everclear isn't food dammit
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
