i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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