Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
