Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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