the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
