please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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