STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
