But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
