So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
be right there i have to get my cape
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
