oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
