we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
i out mim tonsoeep
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