ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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