Farmville is her only friend.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
