Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I am available for nakedness
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
