She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
