i jhust puked up my retainher.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I think your dad took our porno
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
