You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
