Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
