i don't like sucking hair
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Randomize
