Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
