ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I smell like Dick and happiness
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
