I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
