Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
