he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
