you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize