so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
