she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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