everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
