like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
