Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
