after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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