Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
