Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He felt like a one man threesome
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
