ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
