I haven't been this sober since birth.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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