I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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