There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
