I must be too annoying 4 u.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
