Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
This gyro tastes like lonliness
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
