sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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