Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
