I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
