I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
