Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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