So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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