everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
