Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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