I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
