I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
