Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
