i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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