all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
