her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
