party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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