Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize