HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
