I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
